Yes, you probly are. Why? Cause your not a modle like me! Im beautifull, dont you think? And that makes me SO much better than you. Just look at you're self! You wear those plain old cloths. You wear cheap perfum and departmint store shoes. And you have body fat. How can you possible be as good as me? OK, so I cant spel good or read good or work electric things, but as long as I have my one meal a day and throw it up later, I can do anything better than you. So worship me, you plain girl! I'm a modle!

Oohhh, I got some nasty e-mails about this one!  I'm not trying to say that I hate beautiful people.  It's just that the fashion world has too firm a grip on society, and they obviously emphasize (and encourage) beauty over brains.  It's all about how ya look, baby!  Sure, it's a stereotype...but can you deny that there's truth to it?

Happy Halloween, kids! And remember to eat so much candy that ya get sick and have to get your stomach pumped at the hospital. May as well get the most out of this "holiday", hmmm?

"Say, isn't it about time for me to start screwing up the country, hon?"

So we now have a new President...another Shrub. If you people who voted for him actually think that he's going to change our country for the better, you are sadly deluded. He won't do anything even remotely revolutionary to make America a better place to live. He will do as Republicans and Democrats have done for decades: take money from big companies, pander to special interest groups, and pass more laws to restrict your personal freedom. It's as simple as that. So sit back and enjoy the show! It's all entertainment to me...

Yahoo! News - Friday September 22 06:59 AM EDT

Ex-Gay Poster Boy at DC Gay Bar

SUMMARY: John Paulk says he just stopped to use the bathroom, but activists who found him there having a good time believe that his real love finally did win out.

Human Rights Campaign staffer Daryl Herschaft had stopped for a drink September 19 at Washington, DC's oldest gay bar, Mr. P's, when what to his wondering eyes should appear but one of the juiciest scandals an activist could have hoped for: "ex-gay" poster boy John Paulk, manager of Focus on the Family's Homosexuality and Gender Department, author of Not Afraid to Change: The Remarkable Story of How One Man Overcame Homosexuality, and chair of the board of Exodus International, an association of about one hundred groups purporting to change gays and lesbians into heterosexuals. And no, Paulk was not in the bar recruiting or proselytizing, but having a dr! in! k, chatting and laughing with patrons, and even offering to buy Herschaft a drink. When Herschaft asked Paulk if he were gay, the answer was "yes."

Herschaft wasn't completely sure of the identification, although Paulk said his name was John and that he lived in Colorado Springs, Colorado, where the Focus on the Family media empire is headquartered. So Herschaft called two fellow HRC staffers, one of them associate director for communications Wayne Besen, who'd had a lot more contact with Paulk as editor of HRC's report on the religious right's claims for "conversion" programs, "Finally Free: How Love and Self-Acceptance Saved Us from the Ex-Gay Ministries." Paulk was still socializing when Besen arrived forty minutes later, camera in hand. Bar staff intervened when Besen began to take photos, and Paulk made his exit while Besen snapped off a few more shots outside.

Besen told PlanetOut News that when Paulk saw him, he recognized him right away -- and reacted with a look of with shock, disbelief and horror. "My camera was the first he didn't fall in love with," said Besen of the man who's graced the cover of Newsweek. When Besen called Paulk later to discuss the incident, Paulk pleaded with him to keep the story under wraps. Besen said he told Paulk, "We're here to help you when the religious right abandons you. There's a big community here that can assist you... You've done a lot of harm, but there's a lot of good you can do now."

But Paulk had a story and he was sticking to it: he had entered Mr. P's in search of a bathroom -- not knowing it was a gay bar -- and had a glass of water. That's what he told Besen and that's what he told Atlanta, Georgia's gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender (GLBT) newspaper Southern Voice. Perhaps Paulk believes it himself, but the HRC men scoff. Besen said, "It was the worst place he could've gone. It was equivalent to going to a bar in the Castro or Christopher Street ... It was reckless and irresponsible." Given its dark and forbidding exterior in a block rife with well-lighted restaurants and hotels, "It's the last place around there the average person would go to the bathroom," Besen continued. Moreover, "It doesn't take forty minutes to go to the bathroom, and you don't have to buy people drinks."

Mr. P's is also very convenient to the city's most notorious woodsy cruising spot.

All of this is something Besen has been waiting for, because of his conviction that "conversion" just doesn't work. He said the religious right establishment has made Paulk "its ex-gay superstar ... their Michael Jackson or Madonna," and made a big investment in promoting him. Besen mused that now the religious right will want to abandon him, but that would be an admission of failure, so what can they do? Unable to fire Paulk and unable to trust him, his supporters are damned if they do and damned if they don't. "They've gotten on the ex-gay bandwagon and the wheels are about to fall off," Besen said. "Their ex-gay strategy is coming unhinged, and what are they left with? Nothing but going back to 'it's [homosexuality] a sin'... They can't claim to be offering 'hope, not hate' any more."

Of course this is not the first scandal of its type. Most notably, two founders of Exodus, ex-gays Michael Bussee and Gary Cooper, eventually left their wives to be together for well over a decade until Cooper's death. But that was when "ex-gays" were nearly invisible and equally likely to be shunned by gays and people of faith -- before the religious right had adopted conversion programs as its answer to the GLBT civil rights movement and built them up with full-page ads in national newspapers and a traveling road show of "Love Won Out" conferences starring John Paulk.

Paulk told the Southern Voice he (still) has the support of Focus on the Family and his "ex-lesbian" wife Anne. The life story Paulk, 36, has told so many times has him growing up with estranged parents, a drug-abusing sex worker at 19, years he identifies as having been a gay activist, "born again" into Christianity at 24, becoming heterosexual after three years of counseling, marrying Anne eight years ago, and having two sons with her before he became a media star in 1998.

Who won? Who cares?
It's business as usual!

Ooook!

Worshipfulness

Below are actual reviews of several popular albums, which I found on a major online music store. Now, this is comedy. This is the kind of hyperactive, discombobulated gushing that makes overhyped mainstream commercial cash-cows like Ricky Martin and N*Suck bearable!  I mean, these people could really benefit from a typing lesson and a spell checker, dontcha think?

Reviewer: baby_bee from USA,Orlando "I think that Ricky martin is the most gorgeous guy in the world! I love him!I think that he's the most adorable,sensitive,passionate guy in the wolrd!but....I am not judging his cd because he's ALL that....I think that the cd is excellant!I mean,who can acheave better than that? hic cd deserves better than your critisizim and the lack of monouver that you guys are writing!his cd is wonderful especially:"Livin' La Vida Loca"and"Spanish Eyes"and"She's All I Ever Had"and ALL of the rest!he is incredibly talented!he deserves the biggest award!and he really trully deserved that American Music Award! Ricky,you're a true performer!"

Reviewer: Erica Ouellette from USA: "Geez, this cd really makes me look deep inside myself. 'N sync really makes me happy. I always look at the pictures of them on my wall and wish that someday i could see them anytime any where!"

Reviewer: A music fan from Massechusetts, USA: "hey peepz! ok i'm like a kinda sterotypical 13 year old girl, so if you don't really care what i think then don't read this! ~~~~ alrighty then i'm glad you decided to read this, this cd rules. i'm not just sayign this cause i'm a britney fan, but if ur undecided about buying this cd, hen do it1 especially if you liek cds that you can really dance to! i luv yo put this on in my room, and just boogie down to it for an hour or so when ever i've had a bad day! well, u should buy this cd, cause if ya don't, you'll be sry! ps i think brit looks better w/ her hair short, don't you?"

I wrote this when Clinton was in the White House, so it's a tad outdated.  However, this can be updated by simply substituting the Clintons with other Democrats in the table below.  Then throw in some "Dubya will save us all" stuff, and you've got yourself a perfect Limbaugh radio schedule!

Previously Offline
Below are "outtakes" from my Outbursts collection page.  I guess at the time I didn't feel they needed to be included, but why not?  So here they are.  A couple of them are a little pissy. :-)

SINNER! HAHAHAHA!!

The moment I read about Jesse Jackson's love child, I nearly fell off my chair.  So this guy, who for decades has claimed to be the moral compass of humankind, cheated on his own wife and fathered a child with his mistress.  Oh, that's rich...that's just deee-licious.  He offered to drop out of public life but has recently backtracked on that, much to my dismay.  Oh well.  This man has set the civil rights movement back 20 years during his career, but hopefully nobody will take him seriously now.

Click to download!

Politics In America
by Bill Hicks, dead comedian

Public Mass-debating

Public Mass-debating, Part 2

Well, the second debate is over, so here are the results! "The children" make another strong showing, but "government" hits a new high. Jeezus, Shrub, got a fetish for government?

Morons.